


i get off on you getting off on me

by TC Sin Bin (Trekkiechick)



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Lingerie, Masturbation, Newt's Pet Frog, OOPS I WROTE CHAPTER TWO, Panties, Vibrators, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, hermann and tendo appear a little in this one, other characters are...implied, should i tag for judy, so far it's just a solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:24:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14350704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trekkiechick/pseuds/TC%20Sin%20Bin
Summary: Newt destresses from working in the K-Sci labs by jerking off on camera for internet strangers. Set approx. one year pre-Pacific Rim, canon compliant AFAIK. Newmann is lightly implied.





	1. let's skip the making love - let's just fuck

The first thing Newt Geiszler does upon getting home - after shutting the door, he isn’t a  _ total _ maniac - is kick his shoes off, whip his pants down, and launch them in the general direction of his (overflowing) laundry bin. 

“It’s been a fuck of a day, buddy,” he commented to the  _ Xenopus laevis _ sitting placidly in her tank on the kitchen counter. The frog looked up at him as if to say  _ What happened? _ Or maybe  _ Feed me some worms _ . 

Hopping on one foot to yank off his socks, Newt answered, “Well, I’m glad you asked. The stupid - ugh - Pan-Pacific  _ Dickhead _ Corps just cut funding to K-Sci, AGAIN, and we’re losing another two lab techs. Tell me, Judy, what will it take for them to realize their ‘Wall of Life’ is the dumbest fucking idea since the Trojan Horse? I mean, destroying buildings is a Kaiju’s day job!” This is punctuated by tearing off his tie and dropping it to the floor. Sockless, pantsless, and steaming mad, he took the moment to sprinkle some quickly-gobbled food pellets into Dr. Judith Hopperton’s tank before snagging a Dr. Pepper from the fridge and taking a running leap to bellyflop onto his unmade bed. 

“It just sucks, you know?” he continued conversationally in the vague direction of the frog, fumbling around for his laptop and charger. “I was looking forward to having a nice, relaxing jerk sesh. But now? Dude.” The laptop gets set up on the chair next to the bed and Newt finally relaxes, laying back across his nest of pillows and exhaling a long sigh. If there’s a vulnerability in it, a deep and sincere worry over the future, there’s no one there to know except Judy.

He laid there for a moment, then sprung up again, entering his normal routine before starting. Sleeves were rolled down over too-recognizable tattoos, webcam was aimed to just capture from his thighs to his mid-chest, boxers were glanced at and judged adequate. And...start.

Almost immediately, his channel on the porno streaming site filled with viewers. All default settings and chatbots kicked in, insta-banning a couple of spam accounts and plastering his normal messages across the top of the feed.

**RulesBot3** : No, I won’t talk/show my face/take off the shirt/tell you any personal info. Yes, I ban for rudeness/slurs/spam. Only users who have signed in can comment.

**RockstarBot19** : Hey viewers! I don’t have any tip thresholds, I’m just here for the attention :D Available for one-on-one chats, I still won’t show face but you can see my tattoos ;3 My tipping info and PO box are in the description, big thanks to everyone! Next goal: something from Bad Dragon? 83 <3 from  **Empirical.Badass**

**TagBot12** : #bottom #prettyboy #twink #assplay #cumplay #sizequeen #solo #toys #bisexual #thiccthighs #softboy

Just as quickly, messages started filtering in from people in the audience.

**Babycakes_xx** : yay! was hopin 2 see u today! catch my stream later <3 <3

**Muscle100Stud** : wanna fuck those thighs

**4893bigdick5390** : moan for me

**Hornydaddy852** : show us your cock, baby boy

Newt huffed - never the most stimulating conversation from his patrons. Intellectually, anyway.

He sat up on his knees, spreading his legs and wiggling to get comfortable in the mess of blankets. The routine of getting ready for his stream had already given him a half-chub - classical conditioning at its finest - but he reached down and stroked himself through his boxers to encourage it. His cock eagerly obliged, firming up and twitching beneath his hand as he rolled his hips into it. Forcing a whine down into a hum, he trailed the fingers on his other hand up over his button-down and pinched one nipple through the shirt. 

It still wasn’t enough to dispel the earlier anger over work. Goddammit. Normally he liked to ease into this, but that was a trial for his attention span at the best of times. Now, it was torture.

With a disgruntled noise, he shoved the boxers down around his thighs and took himself properly in hand, wincing at the dry friction but reveling in it. 

**podophreak** : feet feet feet feet feet feet feet

**RulesBot3** : User  **podophreak** banned.

**Hornydaddy852** : damn you have a cute dick

**BearNaked240** : Wish I could see your mouth, I bet you have perfect DSLs

This time he couldn’t stifle his whine. Newt spat in his hand and wrapped it more firmly around his cock, fully hard now, still scanning over the messages. It felt a little dirty, getting off for strangers on the internet, but he was secure in his position as a slut for praise, thanks. He stuck a couple of fingers in his mouth, mind wandering, flipping through fantasies like a rolodex. 

God, but he would love to get fucked up against the wall right now.  _ There we go _ , he thought as a bead of precum leaked over his fingers. He pictured it. 

A man, taller than him but not so tall as to be geometrically challenging, grabbing him from behind and pulling their hips together, crowding him forward. Unbuttoning his shirt and tearing it off his shoulders, pulling his boxers down to his knees. In Newt’s mind, the other man would stay clothed, opening his fly and pulling his cock out to grind against Newt’s ass.

“Ah,” he gasped, hips stuttering forward, and he had to quickly snatch his hand away to stop from coming. Christ, was his hair trigger really that bad? He needed to get laid. 

**Muscle100Stud** : did you just almost cum already? lmao

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $20 tip,  **Hornydaddy852** !

**D0mmyM0mmy** : good boy, give us a show now. play with your ass for me.

“Excellent idea,” Newt muttered, pulling his hand away from his mouth and reaching behind himself to drag two wet fingers across his hole. The touch made him shiver, and he was instantly bombarded with messages demanding he turn around. He obligingly pulled his boxers the rest of the way off - those get lobbed towards the laundry pile as well - and shuffled around on his knees, spreading himself open for the camera and hearing a few more tip-signalling dings in response.

With ease born of a near-shameful amount of practice (as if Newt had felt shame since like, 2011) he bent over to prop himself up on his mountain of pillows, maneuvering so that his face remained out of the camera view. It sucked that he couldn’t read the chat from this position, but he didn’t think this was going to take too much longer. For his more drawn-out sessions, he’d usually pull up the stream on his phone so that he could still interact with his viewers, but right now he just wanted to get off.

His sleeves were riding treacherously up his arms, so he yanked them firmly down to his wrists and popped three fingers on his right hand back into his mouth. Now, where was he…

The fantasy man would run his fingers up the back of Newt’s neck and into his hair before yanking sharply, forcing Newt’s neck to arch and expose points to kiss, lick, bite. He’d be peppered with hickies and whimpering by the time the other tired of it. He imagined large hands running down over his chest, stomach, the ridges of his hips, and one wraps around his cock while the other strays back up to one of his nipples.

More dinging notifications from his laptop. Newt huffs, almost wanting to kick the damn thing shut, but reading through the chat was always one of his favourite parts of the post-orgasm glow. 

So instead, he balanced his chest on the pillows to reach back with both hands, stretching his legs further apart and teasing his spit-slick fingertips across his hole before pushing his middle finger, too quickly, inside to the knuckle. Immediately, he’s whining - it’s too much, it’s not enough.

On another day, he’d pull out the lube and fuck himself on one of his subscriber-provided toys, but he was already losing patience. He slipped his index finger inside next to the middle and let out a keen, bucking forwards against the nest of pillows. Forget the wall, he’d love to get fucked just like this. Strong hands laid across his back and his neck, holding his face down into the pillows as a thick cock slid perfectly, finally, in-

His cock twitched and drooled onto the sheet below him as he rocked his hips back against his fingers, barely needing to exaggerate his yelp as he fell into the perfect angle to brush his prostate on each thrust. Arching strategically, he wormed his other arm underneath him and down between his legs to start fucking into his fist. He was panting now, imagining hips slapping against his ass, hard enough to leave bruises, hot breath in his ear telling him how gorgeous he was when he moaned like this.

Pulling out for just long enough to flip over, still keeping his face just out of frame, Newt spat on his fingers and stuffed them back into his ass, his other hand jerking his cock frantically. Through his smudged glasses, he could just see the chat window, just see himself in the webcam’s view. His shirt was sticking to the sweat on his chest and the blankets were an absolute disaster underneath him, but the audience was eating it up.

**x69kinky69x** : you have such a great ass, i wanna spank it

**Muscle100Stud** : fuck that hole prettyboy

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $5 tip,  **anonymous user** !

**4893bigdick5390** : louder louder louder

**ILoveChubbyDudes** : :D :eggplant: :peach: <3

**BearNaked240** : Fuck, you’re beautiful

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $15 tip,  **D0mmyM0mmy** !

**Babycakes_xx** : so hottt yessss

**Hornydaddy852** : fuck i wanna wreck that slutty ass, cum for me baby

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $30 tip,  **Hornydaddy852** !

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $5 tip,  **Muscle100Stud** !

With 178 users watching, Newt cried out and came, splattering his now-disgusting shirt and feeling his hole squeeze down on his fingers hard enough to almost hurt. He rolled his hips down against his hand, basking in the feeling of being full for a moment longer, letting go of his cock and dragging his fingers through the wet mess of his cum. There were a few more tip-dings in response to that, and he laughed breathlessly. 

God, that was just what he had needed. Pulling his fingers out (with an indulgent moan) he sat up, making a mental note that he’d have to remake the bed. Through his panting, sweaty afterglow, Newt leaned forward to his laptop and typed a message into the chat.

**Empirical.Badass** : make sure u come back for thong thursday! one of you pervs sent me the hottest little lacy pink one and i can’t WAIT to stain it >:3

There was a flurry of heart emojis and lewd promises as people started to leave, seeing that the show was over. Newt rolled his shoulders and stretched, ready for a nap but wanting to scroll through the messages he’d missed while turned away. He leaned over to grab his soda from the bedside table and scanned up through the feed, grinning lazily. When he reached the top, he yawned and flicked his cursor up towards the Sign Off button, but was stopped by another tip notification. 

“The fuck?” he murmured, curiously scrolling back down.

There was still a few viewers in the channel, mostly anonymous stragglers, but one was signed in.

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $10 tip,  **User314159** !

**User** **314159** : Purchase some proper lubricant before you injure yourself.

With that, the viewer-count ticked down to zero, leaving Newt to laugh at the concern of some random voyeur before getting up to (finally) deal with his laundry.


	2. oh, i can be your sexy silk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this while sitting next to a pond in a public park, taking field observations on ducks, and posted it sitting in a computer lab at school while pretending to be reading a paper on crickets. Don't be like me, y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Feriowind - this is mostly their fault. (ferio i love you and all your art xoxoxo)

“So, are you free later?” Tendo raised an eyebrow and grinned into his coffee cup. He sometimes popped down to the lab on his lunch breaks, visiting the scientists who quite often refused to interrupt their work for long enough to go up to the mess hall and wait in the long lines. Today he’d brought them down some turkey sandwiches, so Hermann was tolerating his presence a little better than usual.

“Dude, it’s Thursday!” Newt prodded one of his surgical lamps into a better position with his elbow, careful not to contaminate it with various biohazards. “I’m having a night in with Judy!”

Tendo just laughed. “Alright, some of the J-tech officers are going to meet up and play cards, but you crazy kids have fun. Blow her a kiss from me!”

There was a tsk from the chalkboard across the room, but Newt ignored it, stripping off his gloves and starting on his lunch. “I always do. She misses you, you know. She hardly touched her mealworms yesterday!”

“Probably because you’ve been wrist deep in another lady all week,” Tendo smirked, nodding at the enormous blue duodenum sitting on the metal table in front of Newt, a fragment of the kaiju Bonesquid.

“Ehh, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Newt snorted. “Am I gonna hear from you later?”

“I’ll try to drop by tonight, especially if Jasdeep is kicking my ass at poker again.” Backing out of the room and snagging the dishes on the way by, Tendo called to Hermann, “You’re welcome to show up too, Gottlieb! As long as you promise not to use your math powers to count cards, you’ve got a spot at the table.”

Hermann just looked at him exasperatedly.

* * *

 

Newt bounced into his apartment much more happily than he had a few days previous, tossing his bag down and kicking his door shut before whirling to look at Judy sitting on the counter. “Evening, gorgeous!” He planted a wet kiss on the side of the frog’s tank. “You know what day it is?”

The amphibian did not. Or maybe she did, but Newt would never know. Not until he built the machine to let frogs talk to humans, at any rate.

Regardless, he was already stripping off, leaving a trail of discarded clothing behind him. After almost-but-not-quite totally face planting in the threshold to his bedroom, he rummaged around in the ‘clean laundry’ pile - not to be confused with the ‘dirty laundry’ pile - and yanked out a couple of bath towels. Today was gonna get messy.

He had a not-unimpressive collection of toys, but today he’d be sticking to his favourite combo to use solo. Newt leaned down next to the bed and yanked up his bottle of lube, ol’-faithful Hitachi wand, and an electric blue silicon vibe. Only the best for thong thursdays, after all.

Laptop set up, pillows rearranged, outfit sorted out. This time around, he had chosen a skin-tight black top with long sleeves and a matching black skirt that could be hiked up when the time was right. And, the pièce de résistance. One of his regulars (horny daddy something something?) had shipped him a gorgeous underwear set. It had come with a bralette that would, sadly, show off too many of his tats, but the panties were adorable on their own. Neon pink, shiny and near-translucent material with lace edging and elastic straps that converged in the front and formed a neat bow at the waistline. The thong in the back was cut in such a way that it framed his ass and created a sweet heart shape just above his cheeks. And - bonus - it was dude lingerie, made for someone with his equipment, so he wouldn’t be getting side-ball the whole time.

Newt knelt on the bed, toys and lube just offscreen and skirt tugged down over the thong in preparation for the big reveal. As an afterthought, he reached for his phone and tugged the comically-large kaiju case off of it, setting it nearby in case he wanted to read the chat without squinting at the laptop screen.

Showtime.

**RulesBot3** : No, I won’t talk/show my face/take off the shirt/tell you any personal info. Yes, I ban for rudeness/slurs/spam. Only users who have signed in can comment.

**RockstarBot19** : Hey viewers! I don’t have any tip thresholds, I’m just here for the attention :D Available for one-on-one chats, I still won’t show face but you can see my tattoos ;3 My tipping info and PO box are in the description, big thanks to everyone! Next goal: something from Bad Dragon? 83  <3 from **Empirical.Badass**

**TagBot12** : #bottom #prettyboy #twink #assplay #cumplay #panties #sizequeen #solo #toys #bisexual #lingerie #thiccthighs #softboy #vibrator

**Empirical.Badass** : gooooooood evening! what did you babes get up to today? do anyone fun? ;3 happy thong thursday  <3 <3 <3 special shoutout to **Hornydaddy852** for the set I’ll be wearing today!

**Hornydaddy852** : you’re all welcome

**Muscle100Stud** : take it off already

**Babycakes_xx** : omg cute outfit!! <3 <3

Letting out a shaky breath, Newt settled back onto his heels and ran his hands up over the front of his shirt to play with his chest. His cock was getting hard just from anticipation, but the straps on the panties were keeping it in check enough to not tent the skirt. He pinched and twisted at his already-stiff nipples, doing his best to stay patient until the audience built up a little. Groping for his phone, he opened the chat in the streaming app, typing with one hand and continuing his play with the other.

**BearNaked240** : Glad i’m not late, I’ve been looking forward to this.

**Crypticrumpet** : show us the panties!!!

**D0mmyM0mmy** : gorgeous, darling, love the skirt

**D0mmyM0mmy** : i hope it wasn’t expensive - i want to tear it off you

**Empirical.Badass** : ooh, hey now! you break it you buy it! ;3

**BowsnBuckles** : in that case, how much to buy your ass?

He let out a laugh at that, ending it with a gasp when a hard pinch made his cock jump. Alright, that was enough patience.

Setting down the phone, Newt fiddled with the hem of his skirt, using his fingertips to drag it up higher and scratching lines up his bare inner thighs as he went. He saw the chat tick upwards in a flurry, people clamouring for the big reveal. And, well, he’d be a bad rockstar if he disappointed his audience, right?

He spread his knees wider, hitching the skirt up and around his hips to show off the pink satin straining to hold his erection. The fabric had become even more see-through where it was stretched around his cock, and had started to cling at the top where it was damp with precum, darkening the pink. The lace circling his thighs was stretched so tight he could already tell it would leave imprints when he took it off later. Damn - would it be narcissistic for him to think that’s hot? Yes? Too bad, cus it’s totally hot.

Normally he’d stop and give his viewers a chance to ogle, but he was just too impatient this time around. Newt reached out next to him, then faltered.

“Where to start…” he mused in a whisper, debating between the two toys he’d set out. Lube would definitely ruin the satin, but if he started with the wand, he might finish too quickly. Alright - decision made.

He grabbed the blue vibrator out of the blankets, leaving it turned off but trailing it over his twitching hardon. The bright pink and neon blue looked fucking gorgeous together with his black clothes and pale skin. He lamented not being able to show his tattoos; all the yellows and greens would make this picture just spectacular. His audience seemed to like it well enough as-is, though.

**x69kinky69x** : omg hot hot hotttt

**Hornydaddy852** : those look perfect on you

**Hornydaddy852** : i bet you love wearing those panties, filthy boy

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $15 tip, **Hornydaddy852** !

**D0mmyM0mmy** : damn, baby

**TechnoSexual** : Lookin good, rockstar :-x

Aww, Tendo did make it. What a good friend. Newt shot the camera a quick ‘rock on’ sign - just for you, buddy - and dropped the vibrator for a moment, wiggling the skirt down and off his hips before turning around. It took a moment to get situated, with the stream open on his phone in front of him and ass up in the air to show off the thong, but the view was so worth it.

He arched his back while he fumbled for the lube and poured a large dollop of it on top of the vibe, letting it run down and over his fingers and make a mess of the bed. _And THAT is why we have the towels._ With his less messy hand, he reached back and pulled the lacy string of the thong aside, dribbling more lube over his hole and rubbing it around with the tip of the toy. He couldn’t respond to the chat anymore - phone plus lube? Bad. - but he was getting some enthusiastic feedback.

Rocking his hips, Newt let out a startled whine - the straps on the panties stroked the head of his cock just right when he moved in this position. Jesus, at this rate he wouldn’t even need the wand. He nudged the toy against his now-slick hole, popping the very tip of it in and out of the tight ring of muscle. Balanced on a pillow, hips up in the air, one hand pulling the pink string of the thong aside to expose himself to the camera, the other holding the bright blue vibrator where he could buck back onto it. And finally, he switched it on.

Immediately Newt cried out, eyes fluttering shut and muscles locking. All he could do was arch his back and let out a high, drawn-out whine as the toy slid out and hummed against his skin.

**4893bigdick5390** : hell yes baby

**User314159** : Absolutely filthy.

**ILoveChubbyDudes** : pull those cheeks open more sweetheart

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $5 tip, **x69kinky69x** !

**BearNaked240** : Beautiful

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $5 tip, **BearNaked240** !

**BowsnBuckles** : you gorgeous little slut

Newt trailed the buzzing toy across his hole and keened, pushing back against it until the end slipped inside him again. “Shitshitshit-“ he mouthed, hips jerking, fucking himself shallowly and feeling the panties caress the head of his achingly hard cock. The vibrations against the sensitive rim of his ass were absolutely killing him. His attention span was too short to do this for long - god, if only he had someone to pin him down and tease him until he was one huge nerve ending.

As it was, he was left to his own devices. His own impatient, horny devices. Such as the vibrator in his hand.

Slowly as his sanity would let him, Newt pushed the toy, still absolutely dripping with lube, all the way inside him. He let out a shuddering rush of breath. Christ, it ached just right when he hadn’t prepped with fingers first. This smaller blue toy wasn’t one that he used for longer sessions - it was only about five inches, just right for skipping the prep or using to warm up for one of his big boys. But still, the stretch was goddamn delicious. He couldn’t stop himself from bucking and rocking backwards against his hand, especially not with the soft vibrations thrumming against his walls. Every time he did, the straps on the panties squeezed and moved on his cock. The friction on both ends felt so fucking good Newt thought he might finish before he even got the chance to turn around.

With great effort, he managed to still his hips, trembling around the vibrator and breathing deeply to try and force his building orgasm back down. Alright, he could do this. As long as he stuck to moving the toy and not thrusting back against it, he could-

Nah, fuck that. Never give jerking off less than 100%, right?

Newt flipped himself over, just barely keeping his face out of frame, and sat up on his knees again, tilting back against his heels. The satin front of the panties were wet with lube and precum, turning from bright pink to dark, translucent magenta, stretched tight around his twitching cock. He could just see the base of the blue vibe in his ass from between his spread thighs, still buzzing quietly. His shirt had ridden up a little in the front, so he hastily tugged it back down over his hip bones - not that he thought anyone would be focussed on _that_ , with everything else going on. The chat sure seemed to have a one track mind.

**D0mmyM0mmy** : your cock looks so pretty in pink, lovely boy

**ILoveChubbyDudes** : hooooo man those thighs!!! you should wear lace more

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $10 tip, **Crypticrumpet** !

**Babycakes_xx** : gorgeous!! xoxox

**TechnoSexual** : Aww yeah, get it!!

**Hornydaddy852** : are you gonna cum, baby?

“Yesss!” Newt hissed, dragging his fingers up the hard line of his erection in the pink satin. The wand would have to wait for next time - he wanted to see the cum leak down into the fabric and soak it even more. Instead, he reached back and turned the vibrator up two more settings.

His eyes rolled back and his mouth dropped open as the toy started buzzing more frantically. Now, he really couldn’t stop from jerking his hips (or, at least, he didn’t try very hard). On every thrust back, he pushed the vibe deeper inside - every push forward, the panties stroked his leaking cock. Even without seeing his face in the screen, Newt looked ruined, just barely supporting himself on one slick hand while he fucked himself with the other, rocking back and forth in desperate search of more stimulation.

Quickly, he lost the coordination to handle the lube-slick vibrator with his equally-slippery fingers, so he just thought _fuck it_ and just pressed the toy all the way into his ass with the flat of his hand on the base.

Newt _wailed_ , too struck with the sensation to fully muffle himself. “I-I’m gonna-” he breathed, twisting his supporting hand where it had a deathgrip on the towel beneath him, thighs tense and shaking. “I’m-!”

His hips gave a last jerk and he had to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop from shrieking as he came untouched. His cock throbbed, soaking the satin covering it beyond the point of saving, cum leaking down through the sides of the panties and onto his thighs.

**x69kinky69x** : fuck that’s so fucking hot

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $20 tip, **Muscle100Stud**!

**Hornydaddy852** : goddamn perfect

**D0mmyM0mmy** : so responsive, i’d love to play with you like this

**BowsnBuckles** : just like that baby :D <3

**RockstarBot19** : Thanks for the $5 tip, **TechnoSexual** !

“Fu-u-u-uck-” Newt breathed out shakily, insides flexing and jostling the toy still inside him. He loved the overstimulation of it vibrating against his sensitive walls so soon after his orgasm, but he couldn’t afford to lose his composure too much on camera. Everything about him was too distinctive, his tattoos, his voice- he didn’t want getting his rocks off to come at the cost of getting recognized.

So instead, he leaned back, reached down, and tugged the toy free, breath rushing out of him at the abrupt emptiness. It buzzed insistently in his hand and he flung it across the room to deal with later. The sight of his hole, sloppy and open and still twitching rhythmically to squeeze down on a cock that wasn’t there, was enough to make any pervert’s day. Newt traced a couple of fingertips around his sensitive rim and his flagging erection pulsed at his light touch. He continued up and over his inner thighs, dragging his fingers through lube and cum and bringing them up to his mouth for a taste

Oh yeah, these panties were ruined. He oughta auction them off - probably some people were gross enough for that, right?

Half-assedly wiping his hands on the nearest clean spot on the towel, he stretched before leaning in to sign off on the chat. Goddamn, this had been one of his most popular streams to date. The virtual tip jar showed $180 in cheerful pink letters. He hummed in lethargic, post-coital happiness - that would help cover the cost of replacing the lab’s benchtop centrifuge that had broken last week and didn’t fit in the budget. Wait, back on task. Signing off.

**Empirical.Badass** : thanks everyone for dropping by!! <3 <3 <3 i hope you all had fun - i sure did ;) ;) i’ll try to get on (get off?) again on sunday but no promises!! now, i need a nap and like...three donuts. see you all soon!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Newt closed the window and shut the laptop, collapsing back onto the bed. He immediately shot up again - yeugh, lubey towel. Now, did he have the brainpower to do laundry before nap?

Something buzzed in the bed. His fuck-drunk brain tried to parse that.

Vibrator? No, that was thudding sadly against the floor across the room.

Wand? He’d never turned that on.

Phone? Phone. Phone?! Fuck.

Newt frantically tore at the towel and blankets to search for where he’d ditched his cell partway through the stream, grabbing it just in time and slapping at the screen with wet fingers - gross - until he could hear a voice on the other end, then held it up to his ear.

“Mmmhello?”

“-your damn phone you- Ah, Newton. You weren’t answering.”

Hermann. Of course.

“Fucking- yeah, no duh, Herms. I told you - just text me!”

“I _did_. We’ve been called into the lab - Mr. Choi called me to say that he could not reach you at home. They’ve just retrieved a new cerebellar fragment from-”

Newt tuned Hermann out - one of his specialties. Fucking traitor Tendo! He knew full well what Newt had been doing! Wait, did that mean Tendo was watching him jerk off in LOCCENT? Dirty bird. He’d have to ask later.

“-and with neuronal decay being so accelerated- ...Dr. Geiszler, are you listening to me?”

“Hmm? Yeah, yeah. Go to work and stuff. I’ll get dressed.”

“...see that you do. At any rate, I will meet you in K-Sci in thirty minutes.”

“Thirty minutes! Like fuck! I’ve gotta eat dinner, and- and-”

Newt looked down at the soaked panties he was still wearing.

“-and shower, and whatever.”

There was a long sigh from the other end of the phone.

“...very well. But if the Marshal asks me why you are late, I will _not_ be covering for you.”

“Aww, jerk! I’ll bring you a vanilla frappe, just stall for me and make sure they get that brain in a tank, pronto. See you there!”

“ _Newton if you show up with Starbucks I swear I-_ ”

He hung up. Sigh. No rest for the horny, huh? Newt stretched, stood up unsteadily, and shook himself. Time to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you notice a mistake please!! I couldn't really edit this because, again, I am CURRENTLY SITTING IN THE CAMPUS COMPUTER LAB.

**Author's Note:**

> No, the frog’s name is not a Zootopia reference. I consulted two of my group chats for the name - one chose Kathryn Hopperton, the other chose Dr. Weed Judy PhD. I compromised.  
> See if you can spot a few non-canon cameos with the usernames :3c And two canon ones.


End file.
